In our modern world, interracial relationships have become more socially acceptable.
Love knows no boundaries, endures and conquers everything.
We have all seen plenty of great love stories in our time. Some love stories are beautiful and some are inevitably sad. Surely, at least one of them has touched you in a way. Kept you wanting and dreaming that hopefully one day you will also find “the ONE”.
In our modern world, interracial relationships have become more socially acceptable. Even same-sex relationships are now legally recognized in many countries.
Indeed, Love wins!
It’s just wonderful to see these loving couples regardless of their sex, colour, origin and background. I wrote an article back in February 2015 about what I’ve learned being married to an English man (my husband). There is more to understand being in an interracial relationship. Here are some of the things that I can share with you:
1. Cultural Differences
My husband is from England, I’m from the Philippines. It’s East meets West inside our household. Being an interracial couple can be challenging as both of you will have to adjust to each other’s traditional background and common ways. This can also be a great opportunity for both parties to get to know more about each other, as well as the culture that they grew up in.
In our relationship, we had our own share of adjustments like in our food, close family ties, traditions, sending money to my family back home etc. Always remember to ask questions if you don’t know or understand certain actions or ways of your partner.
“To love or have loved, that is enough. Ask nothing further. There is no other pearl to be found in the dark folds of life.”
– Victor Hugo, Les Miserables
Since communication is an essential part of any relationship, it is vital that there is a good language grasp of understanding between the couple. A pretty good example of this is the British expressions and sarcasm, it took me a while to adapt it. The English language is not my mother tongue, most of the time my husband will have to correct me on how to say things in British pronunciation, grammar and accent and vice versa.
There were instances that having different mother tongue caused us misunderstandings on petty things. When it comes to humour, Oh dear! This is a hit and miss! Sometimes, I got no bloody clue what is the joke about or I even didn’t know that what he told me was a joke.
Again, if you don’t understand what something means or how to say things, just ask. I’m sure your partner will appreciate it more and you can avoid arguments too.
“In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”
– Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
My husband is an Atheist and I’m a Catholic. He is British and I’m a Filipino. We might have different beliefs and background; we don’t let this go between us a couple. We both respect our own beliefs, whatever it might be. This will also allow both of you, as a couple to grow as well as being a part of your self-identity.
‘Tis better to have loved and lost, Than never to have loved at all.”
– Alfred Lord Tennyson, In Memoriam A.H.H
4. Stereotypes and prejudices
I have probably lost count now on how many stereotypes and prejudices I’ve heard and seen towards interracial couples. Most of them are pretty nasty!
People comment that I only married my husband for his passport, for his money etc. I have learned to ignore it. These things/words won’t add value to your relationship as a couple.
“Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love.”
– William Shakespeare, Hamlet
5. Love, Respect and Understanding
These are the pillars of the relationship, like in any couples whether interracial or not. Interracial relationships can get a little bit more complex than the usual relationships because of different factors in society such as immigration.
This can test your relationship, as you have to follow all the rules set by the government to be together. In some cases, a long distance relationship is part of the package of being in an interracial relationship.
We’ve been there, done that! It was not easy. It cost us tears and lots of money, but we both know as long as we are together we can surpass anything.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
– 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV
Do you also have the same love story to share about interracial relationships?
Leave a comment below.